Dear Fairy Godmother

Dear Fairy Godmother,
I know that you've been busy lately. I mean, not only do you have your usual array of little girls asking to become princesses (no thanks to that Cinderella chick!), but now you have Octomom clogging up your email with her requests. That woman just thinks that because she has 4,785,121 children she gets access to you 24/7. Come on, that's not true... is it??? I'm starting to get concerned when my emails bounce back.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because quite frankly, I could use some help. I don't need anything fancy... I'm not asking for a house or a prince. All I would like is to have a second vehicle to tote my clan of crumb munchers around in. I'll even find my own fruit or veggie to have you work your magic on. Surely there's a watermelon or a cantelope that could use an upgrade, right?

I'll let you get back to your other emails now. I just wanted to get my request in before you decided you were going to close down wishes for the year. There's a nasty rumor circling around that you might be heading for early retirement. Apparently, between Octomom and the mega-breeders who have been featured over on TLC, your time has just been spread too thin.

I understand. Really, I do. So if it's just easier, then by all means you could have a few of those Mega Million numbers match the ones on my ticket tonight. That should only take a half wave of your magic wand from what I can guess. And should you choose that route, because of the obvious simplicity of effort required of you, be assured that I won't give any of my winnings to Octomom. I don't want her to think that harassing you would actually help. We don't reward inappropriate behavior in my house.

Many thanks in advance, and give my best to Mrs. Charming.

Love, hugs, and blessings,
The Mama