Friday Soapbox

The front page of the New York Times iPhone application had a story today about the fourth quarter losses posted by Bank of America just as the mega-bank is poised to receive help from the federal government's bailout package. I chuckled, then sneered, then cursed, and finally forgave.

I wondered how long it would take BOA to become another "victim" of the financial crisis. In the last months of 2008, the self proclaimed bank of opportunity swept in and snatched up failing competition, giving shareholders and the public the impression that it's head was well above water as the other financial ships around it were sinking faster than the Titanic. Yet as a BOA customer who was in the midst of bankruptcy and foreclosure, I silently wondered how long they could tread water.

That's where the chuckles began.

As our personal financial Eco system crumbled around my little family, representatives from the financial institution which celebrated "higher standards" bullied us, threatened us, invaded our privacy, and walked a fine line between debt collection and criminal harassment. At one point, as I struggled with preterm labor, I had one fine gentleman call me a liar and a manipulator. He went so far as to cite specific transactions posted to my BOA checking account. Did I mention that he called regarding my credit card?

Remembering this made the sneer come out.

As I continued reading the article, I learned that Bank of America would be receiving substantial bailout support and that even as they noticed losses on the books as the closing of their acquisition approached, the fed had promised support. I cursed. Where was our support when my husband was laid off. And then laid off again. And then when I was laid off. Where was our promise of a lifeline when we had to live off of credit cards and home equity lines of credit because there was no job and our interest rates were going up. Where were the "they's" to bail my little family out when were facing losses.

The cursing in my head subsided and gave way to a surprising emotion... Forgiveness.

I forgave the collector who threaned me and called me a liar. I forgave the employers who let us go knowing we had small children at home and another one on the way. I forgave the banks for their irresponsible lending practices.

I forgave myself.

I forgave myself for not being more careful with what had been entrusted to my care. I forgave myself foe being greedy. I forgave myself for being hateful and angry. I forgave myself for distrusting.

There is not just one group of victims. We are all shouldering the burdeons of a crumbling economy. We are all struggling. There is more than enough blame to go around.

The most important thing, however, is that we learn from the current situation. We need to take stock of what we do have, help others who don't have enough, and count our blessings for another day and another opportunity to change the course of our future and the futures of our children.

Love, hugs, and blessings,
The Mama

Posted with LifeCast