Fool Me Twice...

I am amazed (though I'm not sure why) how ugly women can be to one another.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time I posted about this, but for some reason each time I witness or experience the sting of one woman's slap against another, I am still shocked and pained.

Last time I checked, we all peed the same way... Just sayin'.

I can remember as young as preschool being hurt by the words or exclusions of my classmates.  It continued through elementary school, high school, and by college I was such a glutton for punishment that I actually CHOSE to join a sorority.  Needless to say, I didn't last long.  Apparently I'm bitchy, but just not quite bitchy enough to be able to handle that much estrogen in one room at the same time.  Well, that and I don't like being told what to do and when to do it.  But that's a whole separate set of posts for another time.

Even now, I see my own daughter suffering through the ups and down of her social climbing peers.  It may seem innocent enough, but trust me, these girls are learning this behavior someplace.  I look to the mothers.

Oh yeah, I'm going there.

What is so incredibly important about being part of that "in" crowd?  Only a few weeks ago I remember writing in my private journal about how much happier and more confident I am now that I'm in my 30's, and how I wish and I would do everything in my power to pass this along to my own daughters.  Growing up sucks.  Growing up with (or without as the case may be...) boobs is even harder.

Yet over and over and over again, and for some reason even moreso in the last 24 hours, I see women perpetuating the stereotypes, snobbery, and back stabbing that does nothing to move us all forward and does everything to break us down into tiny piles of insecurity.

I'm hardly innocent.  I know that I have the chromosomal predisposition to bitchiness just like my female counterparts.  But - and this may sound sanctimonious but I promise it is really not intended to be - all I have to do is think about the fact that I would move mountains to shield my daughters from the pain of being on the receiving end of the female fire throwing, and I am silenced and humbled.

"Do unto others..."

I know that I cannot protect my children from the pain of this world.  I know that I cannot put them in a super-safe-and-torment-free bubble, no matter how much I may want to.  But what I CAN do is teach them through my own example not only of how I treat them directly, but also in the ways that I treat everyone else I encounter.

I don't have to like everyone, and I'm not asking you to blow smoke up my you-know-what.  But it isn't necessary to be part of that all-exclusive-in-crowd to find happiness.

Just think about your peer whom you have a great level of respect for.  And now, for just a moment, consider what attributes you respect about him or her.  I don't know about you, but I haven't ever been friends with someone just because of their car, their country club, or their spouse's affiliations.  The persons in my life whom I respect the most are the ones who motivate me to be a better person, a better friend, and even in some cases a better mother.  These are the people whom I would like to have in my super-clique; but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure that they, like me, wouldn't want to belong to any clique at all.

Except, of course, for Snookie.  I have no qualms whatsoever about throwing her under the bus.

Love, hugs, and blessings,
The Mama